blue corn catfish tacos

I'm grateful for blue-corn-encrusted-catfish tacos
And the friend who dragged me out to
experience them
post bible study last night.

A weird day, yesterday, with various items
between the bookends of sunup
and sundown. Some items small:
slow morning and earl grey tea. Some
things foreign and painful: cancer
treatment center and 21 brothers gone
ahead into eternity. Some items
weighty and convicting: would I be a
Caleb or Joshua or one of the fearful 10? 

A weird day, seemingly random, sprinkled
with the beautiful and the painful. A sample of
a lifetime, days touched by cancer and the
witnesses who go before us, tacos and good company.

Bouncing step and fiery love

Madigan, handsome red head
with bouncing step
and warm belly laugh.

Passionate and fiery,  you walk - no
run - through life with the beauty and
power of a thunderstorm.

You love your brothers and kin
with a pure and deep love that
pierces and builds. 

May you be always be Tough and
Tender. Tough in standing by your
convictions and protecting those
you love. Tender toward the Truth of
God and your care of His Kingdom.

Know that you are deeply loved.

Happy birthday from your Ankie Tae. 

tap tap - is this thing on?

What I would like to say if I was ever given an open mic in a group of single peers and brave enough to actually say anything:

(From a single woman to the single men:)

Why are you dating us? If it's for a good time or a social companion, fine. If it's for the purpose of finding a potential spouse, even better. But either way (and anything in between) please define it. And define it early and often, as the relationship changes and grows. Don't leave us guessing or put us in the awkward place of having to bring it up first.

Give us more than just a couple dates. Some of us are shy and unsure. But even if we're not shy and unsure, we're also not going to let you see the "real me" until we know we can trust you with that info. Show us that you are safe and trustworthy and we'll open up.

When you protect us, that needs to include, most importantly, our heart. It's our job to protect our hearts, too, so please know you don't bear that responsibility on your own. And it's our job to help protect your heart by being sincere and honest with you.

When you define things for us, you set us free to enjoy the experience of dating you and the parameters help immensely in keeping our hearts appropriately paced with the progress or status of the relationship.

We've all bought into the current culture's model (demand) of physical beauty and good looks. No, really, we all have. Women just as much as men. So can we agree to and encourage each other to remember to look through that physical body (not ignoring it) to the heart and mind? Can we all agree that after a kid or two or a couple decades that body will most likely look very different? The heart and mind will continue to grow, while the body will (rather quickly) deteriorate. Are your physical "requirements" realistic, given this inevitability?

Every (non platonic) physical touch has an emotional tie to our heart. The more intimate the touch the deeper the tie.  This is a beautiful thing with appropriate (and verbalized) commitment. It's a very scary thing without and can bring about deep insecurity and confusion. Understand that you have no idea what these heart stings feel like or how strong they are, so just trust us when we say they are there and very real. I may even say a woman's desire for emotional intimacy and security is as strong as a man's desire for sex.

Feedback welcome. And the huge assumptions surrounding this piece are shamelessly admitted to and provided upon request.

And thank you to the men out there who are aware of and doing these things. You're my heroes.