limitations

this past year has been a year of me learning my limitations. it's been painful and very hard.

here's what i've learned about them:

• they smack me like a brick wall when i run up against them
• they are good
• they are foreign to how i want to live
• they are in a constant war with my desire to please people
• they are in a constant war with my desire to help and encourage people

not living within limitations: 

• is delusional
• never ends well
• gets us quickly into serious trouble
• is denial that we're human and not God
• prevents us from doing what we're called to do 
• is rooted in pride

living within limitations looks like this:

• it's really really hard
• it is not giving someone something you have but they have no right to
• it is not giving someone something you have but they have not earned the right to
• giving someone your time and energy within a reasonable construct
• not giving in to the feeling of failure when you can't help someone
• having the energy and tools to do what you're called to do
• protecting your ability to fulfill your responsibilities 
• people won't understand your limitations and will likely misinterpret your inability to help them 

isolation

I've learned and observed a few things about isolation.

• it is hardly ever helpful
• it is not the same as solitude
• it makes us incredibly vulnerable 

• it is the easy path initially, but the results are a thousand times harder than had we lived in community
• inside it, our perspectives become ridiculously skewed
• it is often the choice when there is pain or the need to be perfect
• it is the thing we want most when we're in pain
• it is the thing we need least when we're in pain
• it is the opposite of unity and fellowship
• it is a prideful tactic: thinking we can go it alone, when our original design demands we live in community
• it is disobedience (sin?) to how God called us to live
• it is incredibly hard to cultivate community: vulnerability and humility are requirements
• true community is like a warm fireplace in a big log cabin after a long day out in the cold

a tender heart

A tender heart: something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

What is it, why is it important, and what does it take to keep one?

I would define a tender heart as something strong but soft. "Steel wrapped in mink." Believing that Hope is never lost, beauty can always be found, and forgiveness trumps every wrong. It has a realistic viewpoint that this side of eternity there will be pain and evil and enemies. It is not naive to think that hurt will not be experienced and dealt. It knows that even though some days are really really bad, the years are sweet and eternity is glorious. 

Why is this important? Because a tender heart is the antidote to bitterness, the cancer of our souls. It fights off the accusations of the enemy while delivering encouragement to the faint of heart. It shoots down evil by giving comfort to the hurting. It shows the dark side that Hope always has the last word and the good guys win in the end.

How do we keep a tender heart? This article sums it up: "We will live in the reality of life instead of in our hidden expectations of how we want to be treated. We will choose to not be offended or hurt. [In the midst of great pain, we choose] kindness, compassion and love."

Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true.) Ephesians 5:8-9