Weird week

What a weird work trip last week. I spent the weekend sorting through it and here are my observations and thoughts:

My observations:

•  I was sitting in two "bull pen" areas, large work rooms, where most of the IBMers sit at the client site -- I've been purposely sitting in these two areas so I can meet some of the other team members.
• There are pockets of extreme negativity on this account. I was at a happy hour table with four or five of them at the hotel one night on the trip and the bitching continued there. It doesn't stop with the IBMers -- it's on the client side, too.
• One of the guys on the team I'm going to have to be careful with -- he's a player and is trying to play me -- not buying. No need to worry, just a bit of prayer for grace. (I mean, I don't mind the male attention, just probably not that kind a whole 30 min after we met.)
• Met my co-worker from Brazil for dinner -- such a great experience. She was visiting her cousin in the States and it worked out that we were in the same city at the same time. We've been talking on conference calls for about 4 years and finally got to meet in person. She is as lovely in person as she is on the phone.
• Then sitting in the other IBM bull pen on another day last week, one of the people just abruptly left -- she was surprising everyone with her goodbyes and then I heard we have a huge layoff going on, so I suspect that's what that was about. 
• The customer site is designed in a grid with lots of criss-crossing, very narrow  hallways. People there walk really fast and they run into each other, literally all the time. Architectural fail.

My thoughts: 

• This corporate world is so strange and cold sometimes. And so many people have only this to live for. And that makes me sad. And makes me want to stick around and build relationships so I can show them another Way.
• As I sat with a VP last week in one of our meetings, discussing the projects he wants me to dive into, I kept thinking "Lord, you have the wrong person. I'm not equipped for this." I was reminded by a dear friend after church that that's the same thing Moses said when God called him in the desert. Not that I have a Moses-sized calling on my life, but it was good to be reminded that God often calls the fearful and unprepared to do His work.
• I find that on these work trips, I'm driven closer to the Lord, mostly out of sheer need. That's a really uncomfortable place to be, but a good one, too. 
• I don't know why God picked this desert for me to go into, but He nevertheless has and has given me (challenging) opportunities inside it. Now I must go forward with focus and obedience and trust Him with the rest.