obedience + trust

I used to think trust was an emotion.
A thought. A pleasant little something. 
Hot-oatmeal-in-your-tummy, warm fuzzies.
It sort of happened on a sunny day, when
Hope felt near and the horizon beckoned.
 
But now I know is it sometimes just
a raw obedience. One foot in front of the other.
Even when you don't know how you're going
to do that job. Or let go of that thing you want.
Or say that thing you don't want to say.

The Sometimes has turned into a Season.
And a season into a year.
And a year into a lifetime.

 
I wonder if these steps, one tiny step after the other,
will take me right to Heaven's door without a fulfilling of
what I see is best. Will I keep putting my feet forward?
Keep on the path in front of me? When obedience is raw,
weighty, and almost crushing.

Oh that I would carry the weight of trust
with the help of Him who has brought me
here thus far. That I would do this job, and let
go of that thing, and say that word. And let my
heart be beckoned to the next unfamiliar horizon.

Step to horizon.
Horizon to season.
Season to year.