Engaging people

How good are you at engaging people you don't know in a meaningful and lasting way?

I was recently at a small event (7 people or less) and I was the only person that didn't know the other people (I did know the host). Throughout the course of being in a relatively confined space with each other for several hours, I experienced a lack of engaging questions or an effort on their part to get to know me. In response to my questions about work or "where are you from" I would get short answers and no return volley. I found it very strange. And disappointing, to be honest.

It also got me thinking.

How good are we at getting to know people we just met? Do we see every encounter as an opportunity or just a blip in time to be quickly forgotten? Do we see this human in front of us as just that -- human? Fully made in God's image? Worthy of your time and attention, even if it's just two or three focused minutes.

Here are some questions that could lend to engagement on a simplistic and human level:

Basic questions:

• Where are you from originally?
• What do you do for work?
• What do you do in your free time?
• What is the best / worst vacation you've ever taken?
• What destinations are on your travel list?
• What are three things on your "bucket" list?

More in-depth questions for later: 

• What have you learned lately?
• What have you recently been challenged with?
• What have you recently found success in?
• How would you describe your faith?
• What have you learned about God recently?
• Where would you like to be in 5 years? 10 years?

Now, obviously, circumstances will determine which of the above questions are appropriate or not.  You may not want to ask the "faith question" to a complete stranger at the gas pump. (But then again, maybe that would be completely appropriate!)

Finally, none of this is hard to do -- it's actually really simple. Most people like to talk about themselves and appreciate genuine questions and focus sent their direction. So the next time you're in a setting where strangers reside, pick up one or two questions and see how they land. You just might make someone's day!