hard

I keep getting reminded that basically everything this side of eternity is hard.

• being successful at work = hard
• finding time and focus to study scripture = hard
• cultivating and protecting friendships = hard
• cultivating and protecting family relationships = hard
• distance and separation = hard
• keeping animals healthy = hard
• keeping in shape = hard
• planning the future = hard
• keeping the house clean = hard
• keeping vehicles in good running = hard

I've found myself complaining, some verbally and a lot internally, about how hard everything is.  I need grace and strength to acknowledge that life is hard, and yet not make that my focus. My focus needs to be on the blessings and bounty I do have in this life. And... keeping this focus = hard.

Advice from Mr. Darcy

I've been struggling with motivation at work lately. Not entirely sure why, but I do know that it's super annoying.

As I was thinking about my lack of motivation this morning, while patting Mr. Darcy, I realized he shows many characteristics that would do me well in finding some of my missing motivation:

• Focus, focus, focus
• Intensity
• Takes naps
• Up early
• Enthusiastic (about everything)
• Cheerful (about most things)
• Always wants to go along
• Bouncy energy

The nap part is most compelling at this point.

Differences

Are you an internal processor or a verbal processor? Do you think before you act or act before (while) you're thinking?

Internal processing = need time alone, in the quiet, to think through past events and future plans, and everything else in between.

External processing = need to verbally express with another or others to think through past events and future plans, and everything else in between.

 

Are you in the left-hand side of the box? You're most likely an introvert. And you probably have a hard time understanding those in the right side of the box -- how could they possibly have so much to say? Do they ever consider their actions before taking them? Could they ever be quiet for just ten minutes? You probably tend toward a certain level of arrogance in the level of self-control you exude and your ability to give a calculated and mature response. 

Are you in the right side of the box? You're most likely an extrovert. And you probably cannot even fathom how the left side even gets anything done, let alone has any fun. You wonder why they are so quiet, reclusive, boring, and unengaged. You probably tend toward a certain lack of tact because what comes out of your mouth is in time with or ahead of what you're thinking. 

The two descriptions above are somewhat "tongue-in-cheek" and obviously HUGE generalizations. However, from my limited observation on life and those around me, I think some of this awareness can help with our own enjoyment and understanding of others. This can then lead to knowing how to better accept them and love them, while seeing and accepting the differences between us. 

$21 pair of jeans

bought an $80 pair of jeans the other day for $21. and they fit!

a struggle of late (perhaps for a lifetime)

Hope and Help

Irresolute I find myself

Wandering between love of earth

And of Heaven.

Focused on one, but forgetting

The other.

Focused on the other, and forgetting

The One.

How do I find contentment in both? 

Earth, in all its verdant beauty, beckons

Me to dig in and accept her for all her faults

And adventures. But my heart gets caught in

The rain and I run for shelter. 

The shelter I find in visions of Heaven

Where neither moth nor rust can

Destroy friendships or treasures. Resolute  

To stay in the shelter, I’m called back. 

Called back to love the Earth and my fellow

Creatures, cultivating fields of rock and rich

Soil. Opening my soul to the refinement that

Will take place in those fields. Looking

Toward the Creator of Heaven, and clinging

To the Anchor of my soul; my feet digging into

Earthy dust while my eyes look to the

Heavens, where Hope and Help come forth.

from a favorite book

If we love God and wish to serve Him, let us try to be like Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory, which is the good of man, to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace, and happiness of all the world - however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it; and lets us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us, and we in Him.

Should I shrink from the work that God had set before me, because it was not fitted to my taste? Did not He know best what I should do, and where I ought to labour? and should I long to quit His service before I had finished my task, and expect to enter into His rest without having laboured to earn it? "No; by His help I will arise and address myself diligently to my appointed duty."

The best way to enjoy yourself is to do what is right, and hate nobody. The end of Religion is not to teach us how to die, but how to live; and the earlier you become wise and good, the more of happiness you secure.

from the book Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte

Marks of a spiritual leader

For the leaders in my life, both the formal ones and the informal ones. I especially like the last point.

• If you want to be a great leader of people, you have to get away from people to be with God. 
• Spiritual leaders have a holy discontentment with the status quo. 
• Leaders must be able to digest depression because they will eat plenty of it. 
• On tactfulness: there is a big difference between saying "your foot is too big for this shoe" and "this shoe is too small for your foot". 

a little gem by John Piper that I found in an old journal

Monday morning

• wake up
• be thankful
• be approachable
• complain less
• smile, really smile
• start early and go long
• go beyond expectations
• have a sense of urgency
• be resourceful
• be resilient
• no excuses
• remember Who you work for

I don't recall the source of this list and can't take credit for it.

Simple but not easy.

• respect those who labor among you
• be at peace among yourselves
• admonish the idle
• encourage the faint-hearted
• help the weak
• be patient with them all
• see that no one repays evil for evil
• always seek to do good to one another and to everyone
• rejoice always
• pray without ceasing
• give thanks in all circumstances (for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you)
• do not quench the Spirit
• do no despise prophecies 
• test everything
• hold fast to what is good
• abstain from every form of evil

(from 1 Thess 5:12-22) 

God is easily pleased but never content (with our current state of maturity). Matt Cassidy

Weird week

What a weird work trip last week. I spent the weekend sorting through it and here are my observations and thoughts:

My observations:

•  I was sitting in two "bull pen" areas, large work rooms, where most of the IBMers sit at the client site -- I've been purposely sitting in these two areas so I can meet some of the other team members.
• There are pockets of extreme negativity on this account. I was at a happy hour table with four or five of them at the hotel one night on the trip and the bitching continued there. It doesn't stop with the IBMers -- it's on the client side, too.
• One of the guys on the team I'm going to have to be careful with -- he's a player and is trying to play me -- not buying. No need to worry, just a bit of prayer for grace. (I mean, I don't mind the male attention, just probably not that kind a whole 30 min after we met.)
• Met my co-worker from Brazil for dinner -- such a great experience. She was visiting her cousin in the States and it worked out that we were in the same city at the same time. We've been talking on conference calls for about 4 years and finally got to meet in person. She is as lovely in person as she is on the phone.
• Then sitting in the other IBM bull pen on another day last week, one of the people just abruptly left -- she was surprising everyone with her goodbyes and then I heard we have a huge layoff going on, so I suspect that's what that was about. 
• The customer site is designed in a grid with lots of criss-crossing, very narrow  hallways. People there walk really fast and they run into each other, literally all the time. Architectural fail.

My thoughts: 

• This corporate world is so strange and cold sometimes. And so many people have only this to live for. And that makes me sad. And makes me want to stick around and build relationships so I can show them another Way.
• As I sat with a VP last week in one of our meetings, discussing the projects he wants me to dive into, I kept thinking "Lord, you have the wrong person. I'm not equipped for this." I was reminded by a dear friend after church that that's the same thing Moses said when God called him in the desert. Not that I have a Moses-sized calling on my life, but it was good to be reminded that God often calls the fearful and unprepared to do His work.
• I find that on these work trips, I'm driven closer to the Lord, mostly out of sheer need. That's a really uncomfortable place to be, but a good one, too. 
• I don't know why God picked this desert for me to go into, but He nevertheless has and has given me (challenging) opportunities inside it. Now I must go forward with focus and obedience and trust Him with the rest.