How exactly...

... does one condense a three week trip to Israel into a short(ish) blog entry? How do you adequately describe the adventures, the revelations, the changes in your soul through experiencing Jesus' country first hand?

I am currently in the process of going through about 3800 photos, editing them, and soon will upload them (don't worry, I'm only going to upload about 1000, as if that is any better). My hope is they will somehow convey what I have experienced and describe what has changed me, as a person, as a believer, and my general perspective on life.

I come away from the trip amazed at how big God is and yet how He loves to meet us in the details of our lives. Here are some of these details from the trip:

• we began our trip at a kibbutz that was also hosting an international bird festival. I was intrigued not only by the armloads of camera equipment walking into the dining room, but also by the people from literally over the world that were fascinated by these little flying creatures that God cares so much about. Israel is a major migration path for millions of different birds migrating from Europe down to Africa. 
• toward the end of the trip, God stopped me and gave me my own little bird watching opportunity on the Sea of Galilee. It was like they were showing off and putting on a show just for me at His request. 
• warm hot tea with steamed milk. Over there, when you ask for milk for your tea, you are likely to get a steaming hot cup of milk to add to you tea's goodness. It was amazing. 
• happening up on a bar mitzvah going on at the Zion Gate at the Old City of Jerusalem and getting carried along with the celebration. 
• getting approached by three young Israeli soldiers for a small interview and then in return getting their photo. 
• Getting a "drive-by" from Israeli jets as we were at the Dead Sea. They were low and they were very loud. 
• It seemed that every important site we toured, including the Garden of Gethsemane, the Garden Tomb, the Seven Stairs, the Western Wall tunnel, the old City of David, and the Baptism site were not crowded and at times our group was the only group there. We were able to truly focus on what our guide was telling us at each of these sites.
• Coming up from the sights, sounds, and bustling of the city of Jerusalem to the over-look and exquisite view of Mount Arbel which was peaceful, chilly, calm, and overlooking the beauty of the Sea of Galilee.

More to come; this is just a start on the journey I've recently taken that has had an immediate change on my life, and will continue to bring about change for years to come.

Tonight

There's something about brushing my big horse that makes the stress of the day roll off.

Last Weekend

• Mom, Eryn, Jess, and Declan visiting.
• Art show debut. Totally blessed by all the folks who came out for it.
• Markets days with Mom. Shopped till we dropped. Well, at least I dropped. Mom didn't - she ran circles around me, as she always does.
• Holding Baby Will-yum.
• Kissing my Pooh Bear's big nose.
• Hangin' out with the small group, including the Smiths!
• Hangin' out with the McGarys.
• Listening to Mom's Toast Master's speech, which was excellent.
• Too many goodbyes. 

Again, Wow.

My personal life may be crowded with small, petty happenings, altogether insignificant. But if I obey Jesus Christ in the seemingly random circumstances of life, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God. Then, when I stand face to face with God, I will discover that through my obedience thousands were blessed. When God’s redemption brings a human soul to the point of obedience, it always produces. If I obey Jesus Christ, the redemption of God will flow through me to the lives of others, because behind the deed of obedience is the reality of Almighty God.

~ Oswald Chambers 

Wow

The first thing God does with us is to get us based on rugged Reality until we do not care what becomes of us individually as long as He gets His way for the purpose of His Redemption. Why shouldn't we go though heartbreaks? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us fall and collapse at the first grip of pain; we sit down on the threshold of God's purpose and die away of self-pity, and all so-called Christian sympathy will aid us to our death bed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, and says - "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.

~ Oswald Chamber, November 1

This Weekend

No, Wilbur did not play polo. He would give me that look if I ever dared ask him to do anything like that. It would be quite the sight though! 

Today

We do not need the grace of God to stand crises, human nature and pride are sufficient, we can face the strain magnificently; but it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes.

~ Oswald Chambers

Last Week

Love them and miss them.

Yesterday Evening

a muddy horse - he rarely rolls, so he must have enjoyed the rain as much as I did
brushing the muddy horse
chasing my friend's goat around the barn (little turd)
bareback ride on the clean horse
cool breeze and pretty cloudy sunset
Mr. Darcy running around the barnyard and keeping a close eye on the nearby coyotes
Mat Kearney on the way home
Kalachies from my roomies for dinner
closing down the weekend by reading a good book
pretty much a perfect evening

Beautiful

Cool Factor: High

I love these people

He is not ours; we are His

When you meet God, you cannot put the meeting into words, much less the God you meet. God cannot be an object of our concepts. Concepts shatter like broken eyeglasses, like broken eyes -- in fact, like broken I's. No longer am I I and God my Thou, my object; now God is I, and I am his thou, his object. The illusion that is destroyed is not the self itself but its usual standpoint in which I am I, the center, and God appears on my screen somewhere. This self is illusion, and God shatters it by reversing the standpoint: we appear on his screen. We are his object, not he ours.

~ Peter Kreeft from his book Three Philosophies of Life

So apparently

my camera has a focus lock button. Who knew?

It's a funny little slide-action lock on the back of my camera that, well, locks the focus in place. Though small, this funny little thing was cause for much angst, consternation, frustration and worry on my part. For about the last three months, I have lived with taking photos with the focus "jammed" to the upper left-hand quadrant of my focus field. I was picturing a major computer repair to my not-so-old camera. I think I had about $1000 as the repair estimate in my head.

So, much to my relief and the amusement of the camera repair man and my dear friends Kim and Bethany, I am now educated in all things related to focus locks! I think I made the camera repair guy's day. He gave me that look. Something that goes like this, "poor thing, she is so completely camera illiterate. Someone please get her a Polaroid camera!" Should I mention the fact that Kim and Bethany were laughing rather loudly as this whole scene unfolded? Sympathy? What sympathy?

Glad I can provide a little entertainment in their worlds.

PS - I'm also proud to say that I've added a new most embarrassing moment to my rather large repertoire. No, it's not the above story. But you'll have to call me for that story, because I'm not going to blog about it. Maybe when I'm 87 I will.

All That's Left

Love this song...

Slowly drawn moths to the flame
We think we’re strong we think we’re anchored down
Then it comes, the hurricane
Down come the walls up comes the foundations
We’ve been building on
And suddenly….we’ll see that

(Chorus)
All that’s left is to love
That’s all that we have
That’s all that we ever really had and
All that’s left is to love
That’s all that we have
That’s all that we’ll ever have

So let us look into each other’s eyes
And read the stories written there between the lines
And take the list off all the wrongs we keep
And tear it into pieces let mercy be the only
Thing we’re harboring
Cause eventually… we’re gonna see that

This is why our hearts are beating
To love each other as we have been loved
Everything else is a fleeting shadow
But love endures all things, believes all
Things and hopes all things
And love never ends
Love never ends

All we really ever have
All we have in the end is love

Oh the only thing that matters is to love
This is the only lasting treasure

Love endures all things and believes all
Things and hopes all things

Steven Curtis Chapman

This morning

Chiro appt (for my ailing back)
Starbucks chai
FILTHY car washed (the inside is still gross, but at least now I can fool people about my cleaning skills)
New keyboard (for my ailing back)
New laptop set up with keyboard and mouse (for my ailing back)
Figured out how to blow up my desk chair (exercise ball) with the electric pump instead of taking an hour with the hand pump (for my ailing back)
Listening to my Josh Turner station on Pandora
Super glad it's Friday!

This morning

If a man or woman is called of God, it does not matter how untoward circumstances are, every force that has been at work will tell for God's purpose in the end. If you agree with God's purpose He will bring not only your conscious life, but all the deeper regions of your life which you cannot get at, into harmony.

~ Oswald Chambers, September 29

A couple evenings ago

Massive storm blowing through about 15 miles north of the barn.
Rapid-fire lightning, both vertical and horizontal.
My big beautiful horse standing out in the field watching the storm and keeping an eye on my approach.
Standing next to him, with his mane whipping against my face in the wind.
Spending several minutes there, marveling at the intense beauty and hugeness of the evening and its storm.

This Weekend

Jess came to visit this weekend and we had so much fun!

Last Week

The past few months

• lots of travel, both work and personal
• holding my new nephew, Declan William, born in the ambulance on the way to the hospital
• slow dancing to Mat Kearney with Madigan Luke
• finding a wonderful trainer for Caspian - he starts his training this next week!
• a cousin, my own age, going through major surgery and the sobering fact that we are all so frail
• putting down our old horse, Billy, of 32 years. my heart is still hurting. and processing.
• time on the mountain with two close friends and Dad in Flag, healing and restoring
• time on the mountain with two close friends in CO, good food, incredible beauty, fellowship
• my lil sis moving close and how special and wonderful that is
• looking forward to two friends getting married to each other and I couldn't be more excited for them
• looking forward to a new small group in the fall
• looking forward to going to Israel in the fall
• amazed at God's abundant blessings and provision
• cooler weather starting to make an appearance
• both thankfulness and conviction that I "live in a bubble"
• gratefulness that the Christian walk, while not easy, is simple

Goof Ball

Handsome Nephew III

Handsome Nephew II

Handsome Nephew

Miss Devs

Didn't Think

I didn't think I could possibly love another person as much as I love Madigan (nephew #1), but I love Declan (nephew #2) already just as much! Sure sign that our hearts are capable of always loving more and more.

Sophie the Goat

Affectionately known as "Tofe-tofe".

My Two Tiffanys

courageous and compassionate; tough and tender

"Lord, make us courageous and compassionate; tough and tender." 

~ Matt Cassidy

[Jesus'] parables showed how God is in charge. A mustard seed that could be eaten by birds becomes a tree in which birds take shelter. Astounding. God works His way quietly, sometimes when we're not even noticing, like leaven. God redeems, God revives, God rescues, God restores.

Marvin Olasky

World Magazine, June 18, 2011

random thoughts in my head

Alasdair Fraser's music touches my soul.
I miss my family right now. All of them. More than I can say.
I love my big horse. And my small one, too. I was thinking the other day what a horse would look like if you combined the two of them.
I am blessed with some dang amazing friends.
God continues to knock my socks off by things He shows me and opportunities He takes me to.
Life is hard, beautiful, tragic, and good.
One day, all will be right. Everything. Even the little things.
I'm craving a day on the mountain in Flagstaff. Sometimes, you just want to go home. I hope to do that very soon.
I can't wait for Mat Kearney's new album coming out on August 2.
I can't believe it's already mid-June. Where did February, March and April go? and May?
I've been craving Jolly Rancher jelly beans all day. I really need some. Right now.

wisdom from a former boss

- Run to opportunities, but not away from challenges.
- We need to be analytical about our lives. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? Where are you on that scale?
- Ask yourself if your discomfort is your "cross to bear" or a "sign to move on"?
- Write a pro / con list of what you like about your job. Be specific on both accounts.
- Remember that your main purpose is to bring Christ to the marketplace. Are you doing that?

Followers of Christ

Followers of Christ should feel a magnetic pull on their lives toward wartime simplicity so that they may be lavish in giving and alleviate as much suffering as they can -- especially eternal suffering.

John Piper

from his book Think (p 202)

Oh Lord, help me. I am so far from this.

a good evening

coldplay
root beer float
sunset ride on a frisky horse
challenging conversation with friends over dinner
peace

Confidence

When you are deeply peaceful and confident that, because of Christ, God will bring you safely to his eternal kingdom and be the all-satisfying Treasure of your life forever, then you are free to see the truth, and love the truth, and speak the truth no matter what, and joyfully spread a passion for the truth whose name is Jesus.

John Piper, in the book Think (116)

He Leads

This World

...is a broken place, but God is the Great Healer.

There are signs of this brokenness and this healing all around us. They cannot be ignored.

In search of a gas station

We didn't find it.

But this just means more east Texas driving adventures.

My friend Tiff and I headed out to shoot a gas station last night, but we couldn't find it.

Now, don't be alarmed, there were no bullets involved. But there were curvy roads, Chik-fil-A waffle fries, a sunset, and dessert with new friends. Not to mention good conversation with a friend who knows me well.

This illusive gas station resides on some back country Texas road and we WILL find it!

This Weekend

equals:

staying home
watching movies
hanging out at the barn
getting a root beer float
calling a friend
reading
sleeping in

i can't wait.

lesson

So I was walking up Madison Ave this afternoon at a fairly brisk pace (needed to get to the Met store before it closed) and BAM! I walked straight into the guy in front of me who suddenly decided to stop and dial a call on his cell phone. I politely smiled and walked around him, but on the inside was feeling smug that I had finally learned to navigate the streets of NYC to such an extent that I now know that stopping in the middle of a busy sidewalk in this city will cause certain calamity.

30 minutes later.

I was on the phone with my sis and having lousy reception, so I stopped to look at my phone and see what was up with it. Yes. I stopped. I stopped in the middle of a busy (and very crowded) sidewalk in this city. BAM. The poor (short) dude who ran into me gave me that look as he side-stepped around me. I'm sure I can guess what he was thinking.

I'm not feeling so smug anymore. Ah pride, you do cause the mighty to fall.

a few things

i heart baby horses.
i really don't like ticks.
a recent photo shoot of my nephew = so fun.
i'm excited about Fratz returning to TX.
John Piper's book Think is fabulous.
i can't believe my lil sis is graduating from college. i feel a little aged.
i think i have a crush on Rep. Paul Ryan. 
i had the best caramel frapachinno the other day. so good i'm still thinking about it.
not sure i'm quite ready for the long hot summer.
i really really like Trader Joe's flattened bananas. oh my goodness.
and speaking of Trader Joe's, i'm stoked about them possibly coming to Tejas!
the Return to Snowy River is a fabulous movie. you probably have to be a horse person to understand this.

April Post II

In keeping with tradition, here is an April post with some updated random thoughts:

- I'm not ready for summer weather. And I would have enjoyed a bit more Spring weather, rather than it turning into Summer on March 31st.
- I love Irish Breakfast tea, and not just for breakfast either. It's STILL the best!
- Work lately has been the most challenging it has ever been. I have lots to say about this, but won't.
- I STILL love food from Masala Wok. So good!
- My tiny point and shoot Nikon camera has gotten lots of use this past year. It also takes great little videos. I still keep it in my purse, for the main purpose of taking photos of Marianne whenever she is not looking.
- I think my love of mussels may have been short-lived.
- I STILL like Hillsong United and I still feel old.
- I would STILL like to hike Oak Creek Canyon again with Dad, Eryn, George, Jess, Marra, and Liisa
- I am completely in love with my nephew even more this year than last. And I'm looking forward to meeting my 2nd nephew this summer!
- (new random thought) I love Chik-fil-A
- (another new random thought) - my horse blew buggers all over me. They were dark brown, in case you were curious.

In closing, my friend Tiffany M needs to start blogging again!

Mini Mac

The One Who Saves

Achievement

Achievement, as the world sees it, may at times be a stumbling block to Christian faithfulness.

~ Albert Mohler

Do you take yourself more seriously than God does? Surely, He looks down on us with merciful amusement at some of the things we do in our self-importance.

Think

Typically, reading anything written by John Piper is like eating spinach. I know it's good for me, but I don't particularly like the taste or texture. Piper's book Think is different. It's smaller than other books of his that I've chomped through and it's more personal and "on the street", something I can more easily identify with. Ironically, I think because he gets fairly personal and less heady in this book, I am able to more easily connect with it.

Here are a couple excerpts that I really like:

• [This book is] mainly for the Christian - in or out of school - who wants to know God better, love him more, and care about people. (p 16)
• It's about using the means God has given us to know him, love him, and serve people. Thinking is one of those means. I would like to encourage you to think, but not to be too impressed with yourself when you do. (p 17)
• ...the serious thinkers may be humble. And the careless mystics may be arrogant. The aim of this book is to encourage serious, faithful, humble thinking that leads to true knowledge of God, which leads to loving him, which overflows in loving others. (p 20)
• Without a profound work of grace in the heart, thinking puffs up. But with that grace, thinking opens the door of humble knowledge. And that knowledge is the fuel of the fire of love for God and man. (p 21)
• Some of my notions about God went up in the flames of biblical truth. (p 26)
• ...the soul would have no rainbow if the eye had no tears. Some joys are only possible on the other side of sorrow. (p 26)
• ...all training is painful and frustrating on the way to skills that later become second nature and lead to greater joy. The person who will not embrace the pain and frustration will remain at lower levels of achievement and joy. (p 47)
• ...the golden rule of reading implies: work hard with your mind to understand what an author intended to convey. (p 45)

I like the recurring theme: know God better, which leads to loving him more, which leads to loving people in deeper and more God-like ways.

Spring

I like spring:

daylight savings time means more time in the evenings after work
green grass
blue bonnets
warmth
new babies
looking forward to summer where the pace of life seems slower, even when it really isn't
the plants on the back porch that made it through the winter are now showing new life
salads
Sonic root beer floats
shedding horse and dog
iced chai lattes
hope
newness
reminder that after the night comes day
Genesis 8:22: God has promised that as long as this earth remains, the seasons will not cease and Spring will always follow Winter

Stars by David Crowder

you should see the stars tonight
how they shimmer shine so bright
against the black they look so white
comin down from such a height
to reach me now, reach me now


you should see the moon in the flight
cuttin cross the misty night
softly dancin in sunshine
reflections of this light
reach me now, you reach me now


and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful again


and you should feel the sun in the spring
comin out after a rain
suddenly all is green
sunshine on everything
i can feel it now, i feel you now


and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful


and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their king
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear 'em now, i hear em now


and how could such a king
shine His light on me
and make everything beautiful
and i wanna shine
i wanna be light
i wanna tell you it'll be alright
and i wanna shine and i wanna fly
just to tell you now
it'll be alright, it'll be alright
it'll be alright.


cus i got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again.
it'll be alright, it'll be alright.

pooh bear

springtime